Where's the spark?
The Whisper, Not the Lightning Bolt⚡
I used to think clarity would hit me like a revelation—some dramatic moment where everything suddenly made sense.
It didn't happen that way.
Instead, I noticed small things. A conversation that left me energized rather than drained. An hour that passed in what felt like minutes. A problem I wanted to solve even when no one was paying me to care about it.
These weren't earth-shattering moments. They were quiet signals—easy to miss if I wasn't paying attention.
What I learned: Meaning doesn't announce itself. It reveals itself through patterns in what consistently pulls your attention and energy.
What helped me notice:
⚡Keeping a simple log of when I felt most engaged (not happy, not productive—engaged )
⚡Asking "What was I doing the last time I completely lost track of time?"
⚡Noticing what I chose to do when I had truly free time with no obligations🔥
⏳ When Time Stood Still
Engaged and fulfilled
Moments of clarity
There's a photo I keep on my desk: three generations—my dad with my nephew Aiden, my son Hazen, and my brother Oliver.
I took it during a regular afternoon. Nothing special was happening. We were just... together.
But when I look at it, I remember that specific feeling: being completely present. Not thinking about work, not checking my phone, not planning the next thing. Just there.
What I realized: These moments didn't happen by accident. They happened because I made space for them—and more importantly, because I was present enough to actually experience them.
The harder truth: I've also missed countless moments like this because I was physically there but mentally elsewhere. The spark isn't just in the moment—it's in our capacity to actually show up for it..💫
Kokua
🌺 Helping Because It Matters..
The Hawaiian concept of Kokua means helping without expecting anything in return.
For me, this started small. Helping a neighbor. Mentoring someone who reached out. Sharing knowledge I'd gained through hard experience.
What surprised me: these weren't acts of sacrifice. They energized me. Made me feel more connected, more purposeful.
But here's what I got wrong initially: I thought "finding your spark" meant discovering some hidden passion. What I actually discovered was that meaning often comes from contribution —from being useful in ways that align with your skills and values.
My two boys, Hazen and Bobby (in the photo from years ago), taught me this. Kids don't ask "What's my purpose?" They just engage fully with what matters to them in the moment. Somewhere along the way, adults forget how to do that.🌟